{diy} Five Nihilist Pinterest Projects You Can Start Right Now

Do you ever look at Pinterest and think, “I could make that, if life had any purpose?” Here are five ideas for nihilist Pinterest projects you can start right now. 

 

1) THE HEALTHIEST GUMMY BEARS YOU WILL EVER EAT

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Go to the store to purchase ingredients. Blow off work to spend 6 hours looking for tiny bear-shaped cookie cutter. Settle for large-ish poodle shaped cutter. Follow recipe. While waiting for them to cool, spend 20 minutes trying to decide whether they are spelled “gummy bears” or “gummi bears.” Taste gummy/gummi bears and recoil because they are disgusting, and far too large. Remember that you hate gummy bears, and your life. Eat gummy bears anyway.

2) DIY MISSING SOCKS SIGN

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Follow instructions to make sock holder. Create Tinder account for sock holder. When sock holder gets more offers for dates than you, drink 2 bottles of wine alone in your apartment and throw up in your sock drawer.

3) HOMEMADE PAINT FOR KIDS

Nihilist Pinterest Projects

Set a goal of eating seven large bottles of Heinz tomato ketchup. You can do this! Clean and save the bottles as you go. Look around, and realize 9 years have passed and your kids are now teenagers who won’t even speak to you. Make the paint anyway, with the plan of working through your ennui via finger painting. Realize the paint is too thick to squeeze through the ketchup lid and try to decide whether to laugh or cry.

4) FUN AND CREATIVE PAINT CHIP CALENDAR

Nihilist Pinterest Projects

Go to a paint store and take copious amounts of paint chips. Ignore the pointed stares of the employees as you stuff your purse with sample upon sample of all of the colors of the rainbow. Go home and begin the laborious process of gluing paint chips on to cardboard, or something. Put it in a picture frame? Why exactly? Begin to feel woozy from the scent of the glue. Notice you forgot to take any blue paint chips. Return to the paint store. Throw away the calendar because you only use a Google calendar anyway. You are now banned from the paint store for life. I hope it was worth it.

5)  DIY DOG FOOD STATION WITH STORAGE

Nihilist Pinterest Projects

Buy supplies and assemble dog food station thinking “Rex will love this!” Remind yourself that Rex died three years ago and your new dog is named Oliver. Look at Oliver. What a disappointment. Rex was so much better.

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