{11/9/16} 10 Things For Today

This has never been a political blog, but today we woke up to a whole new world. So I don’t know if this will become a regular thing, or just a one-time piece, but this is what I have to share today. -KM 


10 Things For Today, 11/9/2016

1. Seek love and give love.
Be with loved ones. Give them love. Seek love. Give hugs. Seek hugs. Extra hugs are OK. Extra love is OK.

2. Acknowledge your grief.
I am not exaggerating when I say that this morning my husband and I were discussing how we feel – and that we both feel that it is eerily similar to how we felt when our daughter died. The feeling is that something fragile and precious has been lost forever, and it’s completely out of your control, and it’s the saddest thing and you don’t know how you will go on. I know that probably sounds overly dramatic, but feelings are what they are, and that is how I am feeling. And I am shocked to say it. But I want you to know that it is OK to grieve this as you would a death. Mourn what we have lost. Take time to do that.

3. Don’t worry about your fight plan today.
My instinct today, right now, is to channel my energy and concern into what I am going to DO to bring about change, to fight, to struggle to FIX this. But to be honest, today is probably not the best day to figure that out. First I need to grieve, and recuperate, and feel safe and loved, and take a nap. Yes, we will fight. But we can figure out our fight plans tomorrow, next week, or next month. First we need to figure out how to take care of ourselves and our families and communities in this time of acute grief and shock.

4. We don’t know what we don’t know. 
Yes, a Trump presidency and all of its baggage is scary as hell for all of us, the people we love, and the entire country and world. But we also don’t know what we don’t know. None of us can predict the future. Maybe he will be ineffective, or maybe he will soften now that he’s been elected. We know in the past he has been pro-choice and socially liberal in his personal life – perhaps once ensconced, he will return to that. Or maybe Ivanka will talk some sense into him. Or maybe some other crazy thing will happen, since we never could have predicted THIS crazy thing happening. Either way, I am not going to allow myself to go down that deep, dark hole and believe that the world will end just yet – I am going to wait and see what we are actually working with and go from there. At the same time I’m going to mobilize for the deepest, darkest holes there are so we can be ready if or when they do come about.

5. Mindfulness can help.
If you’ve always wanted to try mindfulness meditation but haven’t gotten started… maybe today’s the day. Start with an app to help you – it’s just sitting, listening, breathing, and visualizing – but it can help a lot in times of stress and anxiety. I use the Mindfulness app and without it, I wouldn’t have gotten ANY sleep last night.

6. Take a break from the internet.
Give yourself a break from the endless loop of coverage and posts today. Take a walk, or do some work, or do a favorite hobby. Get out in the world and smile. Breathe in fresh air, hang out with your kids, finish a work project that’s been hanging over your head, or read a mystery novel under the covers in your pajamas. Shop online or eat a whole pizza. Sing and dance in your living room. Cuddle up to a “Golden Girls” marathon or binge watch “Westworld.” But whatever else you do, try to tear yourself away from your phone or computer for breaks and breaths.

7. Let the hate bring out your love.
Have you noticed a movement galvanizing? I think there might be a movement galvanizing right now. And that is giving me so much hope. At drop off today, the parents at my son’s preschool were all spontaneously crying and hugging. Just now, my friend and I sat commiserating, crying, and talking over coffee about all the things we can do next, brainstorming all of the ways we are going to bring about change, all of the bridges we are going to build and the best ways to apply our talents to this fight. And we vowed to hold each other accountable when we feel like getting complacent, or bored, or giving up.

I think that this thing is so wrong that it is actually going to make the rest of us more righteous and determined and work harder. I know I woke up with a redoubled determination to teach peace, justice, inclusion, and empathy to my children, in my community, and in my country. I woke up knowing that I will be a participant in this new world and that I will no longer be complacent, or timid, or lazy. This wrong is bringing out what is right about so many of us and I am going to use it as a fuel for my fire. And I am seeing that fire and that love from so many people, including people I never expected it from – and that is a good thing.

8. Say: all beings just want to be happy.
This is like a mantra I repeat to myself: All beings just want to be happy. I repeat this over and over in my mind so I can approach people who I vehemently disagree with (which apparently now numbers in the 50 millions?!?!) with openness and love. Humans, at their core, want to be happy – that is all – but sadly many of them don’t know how to achieve that for themselves, so they do things that are horrible. Is it possible that there are 50 million “bad people” among us? The thought of that is even scarier than the thought of Trump as our president, so I am choosing a different way of looking at it. I remind myself that there are 50 million people who want to be happy, as all beings do, but unfortunately they are just spectacularly bad at figuring out how to do it.

9. One day at a time. 
Remember that the world has changed, and the world is also the same.The sun will rise and set as it has every day for billions of years. The stars will shine and the tides will ebb and flow. People will be born, and die, and love, and lose. This is one event on a continuum of an infinite number of lives and events and time and space. It feels right now like the ONLY event that ever happened but keeping things in perspective can help us find peace.

10. Want to move to Canada?
Sure, their Prime Minister is dreamy, but be warned, they don’t have Target there.

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5 Responses

  1. ronnie laforet says:

    this was so needed by myself and my daughter. thank you. i am still bereft but i can focus on this now.

  2. Kari Dickinson says:

    Through the magic of Facebook this post appeared when I needed it most. As my children wept yesterday morning when they woke up to the news, I put on a brave face and cracked a few off color Trump jokes to lighten the mood. As soon as I dropped them off at school and drove away, I bawled. I bawled all the way to work, at work, in front of my boss (with snot). Thank you for your kind words and permission to grieve. -Kari

  3. what you share really great and helpful to me