Category — ODDS + ENDS

So! I have been a rather neglectful blogger of late, and I wish to atone and be re-born, like a phoenix. You know, that bird  who hangs  out with Dumbledore. It’s true, a mythical dead bird on fire is what I aspire to. The funny thing is I have BRILLIANT (I tell you frickin’ crazy brilliant!) ideas for this blog all the time. The pictures, the stories, the witticisms, the recipes, they dance in my head and pause on my lips. But then, I sit at the laptop and I’m like, oh shoot, did they just put Season 1 of “The O.C.” on Hulu yesterday? And the rest is just… dead bird. No fire. No ashes. No rising. Just, you know, reliving the good years with Ryan and Summer, and, god, after all this time I still hate Marissa! The show was SO much better when Tate Donovan was on. But I digress.

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My friend Michelle from the salty site Thursday Night Smackdown (she curses like a stevedore!) is having an ugly potholder contest. When I first read about the contest, I thought immediately of my cheetah mitt, but someone else said they submitted a mitt from a prison and I didn’t think it can compete with a prison mitt. But then I really looked at it closely. It’s extremely ugly. I always think of it as cheetah print, but in fact there are multiple cheetah heads on it. The part where you put your thumb is a disembodied cheetah head. Right under that, there are just some perpendicular whiskers and a nose that’s not on a face. It’s pretty creepy.

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Even a recent visit to Kentucky’s Creationist Museum couldn’t sway me from my atheist ways, but NOW, I mean NOW, with this irrefutable banana evidence…

Seriously where do people come up with this stuff? Talk about grasping at straws… “God made the peel biodegradable.” Uh yeah, really astute observation that plants biodegrade. “It curves towards your face.” Because you’re pointing it at your face, dude. This is some great stuff, what a crack team of investigators we’ve got here!

[via Serious Eats]

I know this has gone around in the past, but I don’t care. I can’t stop watching it. This is the BEST BREAD-MAKING VIDEO EVER, hands down. I mean, it doesn’t teach you how to make bread or anything- it’s just an 80s dude in a sweatband/wifebeater combo, dancing around, doing splits in the air and gyrating his pelvis most hilariously while sort of pretending to make bread. Look out for the part where he puts a pitcher of water on his head and does a pirouette. Just, WOW.

[via Serious Eats]

Look! It’s another bacon thing that’s not food-related: bacon luggage tags!

And with this, I am officially DONE with bacon-everything except for, of course, the actual eatin’ kind of bacon. That kind is still OK. But please stop already with the bandaids, the air freshener, and yes, the luggage tags. It’s old. It’s over. Move on to pork rinds or something.

Here you go: I made you a Venn diagram to express my position more clearly.